and everything nice...

• Five Simple Steps to Confidence

• Knee Deep in Mush

• Tongue Tied Afflictions

• A Funny Little thing called 'love'

• Hickeys: The Seductive Dilemma

...because life's too sweet for anything less...       

In the Presence of Someone Beautiful! 

by Samya F. Farooq

Someone I know profoundly remarked how nothing compares to a woman’s smile. For when she grins, the world stands still for a nanosecond, embraced in the beauty of her grace, compassion, nurture and her sublime gentle strength.

 Yet, sadly so many of the world’s women find themselves gagged in despair; deprived of the rights of equality and burdened by archaic customs (written by men) that oppress the fairer sex. 

Since the time of Eve, women have toiled and fought for what was easily handed over to ‘the boys’. The rights to education, to vote, have a place in the work force, that were fundamentally taken for granted by men became struggles for women to acquire, struggles that much of the world, even today strive at.

True, that no matter how feminist a view may be, the genders do have certain individualistic roles governed by chromosome, that’s a fact of reality. Women are sisters not brothers, mothers not fathers and so forth. However society must seek caution and advise due respect in terms of where the line of divide is drawn.

‘It is a new era, a time of social evolution where men and women are as equal as they want and agree to be. A woman does not (should not) follow a man’s lead or vice versa, rather they should follow the leads of each other. The needs of one aren’t more important than the other, but equal. Lives are shared and not sacrificed one for the other. ’

Our differences are not our weakness, rather complimenting factors in two halves of a whole. So why is there discrimination between genders? Why are the genders in conflict over rights and power when essentially the only rights that matter are human rights?

Superiority and power are formidable forces that threaten the strength of societies and communities that would ultimately be stronger united. Thus it is our innate attitude that needs to change. There are some men who berate like chauvinistic hogs about a woman’s ‘place’, scoundrels that raise their hands to strike a woman in violent rage, feeling haughty over a false, superfluous show of power. Then there are the real men who propagate that a woman’s place is shared by men. These are the gentlemen of the classes who have the confidence to respect and honor Venus; Martians who’d rather chew off their own arms than even think about violence.

On the other side of the coin women are sometimes their own worst enemies. They rant, rave and behave in self-depleting ways, attack each other, let the spikes of jealousy wish ill on one another, and hide in the shadows of someone else; they blame and crumble rather than taking responsibility and charge of their own choices and potential. Being a woman is a place of considerable honor, grace and dignity, thus the way one behaves, (man or woman) speaks volumes about who they are and the veracity of their innate essence of virtue.

Perhaps women sometimes forget the weight of their own worth. They are confident, intelligent, strong individuals capable of reaching great heights. Yet sometimes they are made to feel like ‘less’ by society’s discriminatory sombrero and sometimes their own lack of self acknowledgement.

It is a new era, a time of social evolution where men and women are as equal as they want and agree to be. A woman does not (should not) follow a man’s lead or vice versa, rather they should follow the leads of each other. The needs of one aren’t more important than the other, but equal. Lives are shared and not sacrificed one for the other.

‘Rights’ need to be earned and claimed, thus people of the world need to stand up against injustices, irrespective of gender or any other bigotry tag. The genders are interdependent, complimentary and at their best when playing on the same court. Thus when we talk of women’s rights, lets not forget that the right’s of women are the rights of people.

It is a shame that even in this new age of liberal civilization; gender equality is yet to be a non-issue. Whether it is wo/men, the point is, our social views about each other and ourselves need to modernize with the times.

Oppressed, denied and held back, women through the years, stood their ground and have fought for their rights, set ambitions high, persevered and set their heels firm to achieve their goals and reach the zenith of who they can be and what they can accomplish.

A woman holds courage, she is stronger than she is perceived to be, more powerful and capable than she leads on, for she is humble, and more beautiful than she realizes. She is complex, vulnerable, mysterious, loving and gracious. You are in the presence of true beauty when a woman with her head held high, triumphs, where confidence radiates and where ambitions and goals are unbound and accomplished with dexterity.

In a civilized society, there is no room for prejudice, just one world, one people and one set of rights for all, that’s when you’re in the presence of greatness.

March 8^th was International Women’s Day, it is a day that acknowledges the obstacles women face, marks the strength of women whose firm opposition to inequalities, violence and other justices have carved a new path for the women of today and tomorrow.

Every Step of the Way

When you’re hungry, grumpy or lone

Or sleepy, restless and in a little mess

When you’re clumsy and learning the ropes

Or in desperate need of a piggyback

Mommy’s always there to lend a hand

When you’ve skid your knee

Or lost a pack of cherished gum

When you’ve had a bad day

Or feeling plainly sullen

Mommy’s always there to banish the blues

If you’ve stubbed your big toe

Or got a pine needle stuck in your soles

When you’ve got a loose tooth  

Or a pimple on your nose

Mommy’s always there to the rescue

When you’re lost and confused

Or in a dire pickle over which way to go

When you’re plagued with questions

Or consumed with stress and new found anxiety

Mommy’s always there to shed some light

When you spot your first strand of gray

Or a laugh line, crows feet too many

When other people seek your advice 

Or when your wisdom is sought on great demand

Mommy’s treasured words suffice the power of a guiding light

When you’re pushing 62

Or in need of help in choosing specs

When a new lineage of your own looks to you

Or even when you’re a granny of 3

Mommy who’s pushing 93 is always there to kiss ‘boo boos’ away

Every step of the way

You are her ‘little’ bouncy baby

Giggling and basking away

In the glory of her wise words of care

Cozying up to her nurturing ways

Learning to love, teach and grow

Inspired to be a better you

Love’s never in ration when mommy’s around

That’s why you see, ‘Mommy’ is a bejeweled term

Only you and I can truly fathom…. -

-SF

Dates - the good, the bad, the strange...– by Samya F. Farooq

Valentine’s Day has been a popular annual celebration for a number of years. Every year the tradition and enthusiasm is notched up by doe-eyed pairs who are gleeful about the day. It’s not a national holiday (though I am sure there are at least a handful of people who wished it was) it is marked off on calendars with eager anticipation.

As such it is no surprise that every year Valentine’s Day promotes a prominent boost in sales for florists and candy counters alike. Millions of well intended bouquets are purchased the world over along with poetic cards and candy trays. Restaurants are booked out with last minute reservations and people all around are set to make the best of the moment brought on by historic legends and cultural tradition.

It is taken in as a day of wonderful happy spirits where foes are put aside to make room for amiability. With unity and friendship all around we take in the many inspirations behind this celebration of love and its varying interpretations.

Which Valentine are you?

Matters of the heart are always a tad complex and often hard to decipher.  There’s always conflict and confusion over what’s right and what’s not, mixed signals timing and the all important issue of approach and first impressions.  To that end what kind of Valentine are you most like? Read on and find out.

The Hopeless Romantic

No matter the outcome, whether it is a series of bad experiences or failed approaches in love this Valentine is an endearing positive spirit.  In love with the idea of love, this individual loves all that encompasses the fluffy side of amour.  The stereotypical scenarios plucked from fairytales and other fiction. Drawn to life and possibilities this is an individual who believes in second chances and the notion of “if first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again…”. While being positive is admirable, such Valentine’s often need a fairy dusting of reality; being a little pragmatic goes a long way to keep hopeless romantics from getting too lost with their head in the clouds.

Over Zealous and Eager

Patience isn’t a strong suit among many. Most of us get edgy about waiting in line, gadget malfunctions, or watching the slow motions of the microwave slowly but surely pop corn seeds one by one just minutes before the week’s most anticipated DVD movie night kicks off.  Waiting or letting time take its course is seldom a strong human trait.  Valentines of this nature however tend to get overwhelmed by making an amorous connection with letting time take a breather. The consequences are a very predictable sequence of just falling flat. On a constant search for ‘head over heels’ the over zealous Valentines simply need to pace themselves rather than race through the motions.

Persistently Hooked

Traits exhibited by individuals who simply can’t take ‘no’ for an answer are the ‘persistently hooked’ Valentine’s.  It really winds down to a matter of self dignity to accept rejection and walk (run even) away as fast as possible. After all isn’t being turned down reason enough to lose interest? Why be mortified more than you need to be, give persistent instincts a break and move on.

Sensitive Crème Brule

When ever the subject of sentiments comes up, sensitivity is a topic that’s simply a given. It comes with the territory. With the good there’s the bad, whichever way it goes, sensitive Valentine’s are those who fall apart and or sink into a deep lull every time, even if there is a minuscule scratch to shiny happy ways. Be strong, have a sense of humour and more importantly learn to let bygones be bygones.

Middle Joe

Every list of contrasting characters needs a balance. That’s where the reasonably paced middle Joe comes in. This is a Valentine who seems to have an innate sense of balance. Equipped rather gifted with suave intellect, charm and sixth sense for direction around the winding labyrinth of all things amorous, someone who knows how to get past heart break with undue bitterness and someone who knows exactly when persistent pays off and when it calls for a restraining order.

Top five things never to do on Valentines’ Day

-Go on A First Date

Who needs the extra ‘pound’ of unease and fumble brought on by a day doused in hype, exaggeration? 

- Wind Up In a Fall Out

It’s a happy day, brawls and disagreements just seem like a bad omen

- Be Predictable

If you are looking for a day that’s truly special, then all the predictable norms and customs suffice nothing but mundane drone. So get creative and consider what ‘special’ means to you.

- Be Obsessive

It’s just a day out of 365 so don’t get too carried away with 24 hours of hallmark’s hype.

- Sulk or Mope

If you are a true believer of the traditions of Valentine’s day and the customs that follow but are single, then don’t brood away watching sappy flicks or listening to ‘lonesome’ songs. Instead shake out of the rut and have fun with friends.  

-SFF

Five Simple Steps to Confidence – By Kate Laura Teasdale

Undoubtedly at some point you will have glanced at another girl and wished you were more like her.  The reality is that even the most beautiful girl with a fabulous figure feels self-conscious.  We all have things about us that we hate, but then again we all have things about us which are truly amazing.  The problem is most of the time we forget the good and put all our focus on the bad and the ugly.  Follow these five steps and eliminate those self-conscious feelings that stop you from remembering what a unique and terrific person you really are.

Step 1 – “Why I am fab!: Firstly make yourself a list of everything that you like about yourself and all the things you do well.  Add to it whenever you think of something new or whenever someone praises you for something you hadn’t thought of initially.  Whenever you feel low and forget why you’re fab re-read the list to yourself in your head and focus on all of these points as opposed to anything negative. Forgetting all the negative things will make you feel much happier within yourself.

Step 2 – Sing your-self to confidence: A lot of people are most insecure when they’re alone.  For these times, pick a bouncy, feel-good song that always gets you in the mood for dancing.  Whenever you are alone sing this song to yourself (not out-loud though or you may just appear crazy).  It will make you walk taller with your head held high and you’ll have more bounce in your step.  You’ll feel a lot more confident, and that’ll clearly come across to everyone around you.

Step 3 – Make negativity positive: When we are criticized it is very easy to allow it to bring us down.  When people tell you that you are no good at something or that you won’t be able to achieve something, don’t let it stop you.  Instead of agreeing and thinking, “I’m useless, I can’t do anything,” start thinking, “I’ll show you!”  Telling yourself that something is within your reach will make it seem less unachievable; which will make you feel more confident at tackling it.  Achieving such things will also make other goals seem easier and you’ll feel like you can take on the world.

Step 5 – Smile!: Smile whenever you make eye contact with someone.  If you smile others will respond in a positive way to you.  Smiling instantly makes you feel happier, and their responses will make you feel more positive.  Positive feedback from those around you is a key aspect to being confident and happy with who you are.

Step 4 – Share your talents: If you have a talent – be it drawing or singing, this is your ticket to confidence.  Share this talent with those around you.  The praise you receive will be a great ego massage, and will make you feel great about yourself. It will also make you realize how special and talented you really are.  The feeling of being special and unique will make you feel great.

‘Knee-deep in Mush’ – by Samya F. Farooq

There is to a certain extent a rather prevalent pattern among teens, (and even some adults) when it comes to mushy gushy “Boy meets girl, girl….” kind of shenanigans.  Once you’ve stepped into the ever anticipated and incomparably exciting realm of High School, just about every zit bearing, and funky individuality inspiring teen is knee deep in butter fly sentiments of amour.

It’s true that as the generations have progressed so has the dating scenario, which is all well and expected as it essentially unnatural for life cycles to inch through time and remain stagnant. However one aspect of the ‘relationship’ punch bowl that seems to have stood the test of time is complete enamored obsession.

Simply flip through any number of nationally published advice columns and you are most definitely likely to find a significant number of questions directed at love. This of course is followed closely by declarations that chime along the lines of “I am in love with...” or “Help I can’t seem to end it with Mr. Wrong”.

It’s been said that there is a certain animalistic chemistry that draws people to each other and it is this magnetism that overwhelms rookie teen admirations. As a result, all hell breaks lose, as everything else in life appears to be of little significance.

Ok so there may be an incredibly alluring individual standing around within earshot taunting your urge to mingle. You desperately want to be better acquainted with this person but by fault of what they call ‘the awkward phase’ or adolescence, a simple “Hello, how are you” may seem like an impossible line to deliver. Suddenly you find yourself bashful and tongue-tied, hence you end up spending months admiring from a far and merely wishing for a potential date. All the while losing sleep and your grasp of the many other elements of your life seem to slip by.

Your mind is simply too consumed by just one thing, to such extents that your flunking out of school and putting whatever other goals you may have had on the back burner. Disappointed and still dateless you scribble a plea of sorts to a local news paper in hopes of print counseling and a solution to the mess you’ve found yourself in.

This may even be a syndrome suffered by the chattiest or most extroverted individuals. As it seems even social butterflies occasionally need to remember to stay calm and composed, after all, the most primal thing we do is mingle. So while at times it may feel as though your heart is doing summersaults at the mere mention or presence of someone, it may help to consider the ‘ying yang’ mantra of balance, and draw the line between idiotic obsession and an inner instinct to know better. -SF

 ' Tongue Tied Afflictions'

Ok so theirs is this really cute girl or guy standing around within earshot and you want to get to know that person better. But as luck would have it you find yourself (suddenly) completely bashful and tongue-tied. You maybe the chattiest or boldest person, but for some strange reason you can’t even manage to wave a casual hello. Or perhaps go up to the ‘crush’ worthy person and strike up a basic conversation. The thing about being a social butterfly is that you must at all times keep your cool and stay on top of witty remarks and swift come backs. Meeting new people and making new friends or even acquaintances is perhaps the most primal thing we do. It is one of those things that some people master early on, while others try to slowly grasp the concept. What ever the case maybe when it comes to a crush the eager anticipation of getting to know some potentially great may expose many (guys in particular) with a slight case of verbal stage fright. Often it is nothing more than just not knowing what to say, after all it’s a well-publicized concept that the first impression is everything. The trick is to liven up have a sense of humor and be spontaneous. Don’t stand in front of the mirror practicing what to say, instead the next time that swoon worthy girl or guy’s near just say “hi how are you”, try a quick compliment or simply flashy your brilliant pearly whites. And remember flirting is suppose to be casual and fun so what are you loosing sleep over? -SF

A Funny Little Thing…Called Love     by Sam

One single concept has filled the pages of novels, movie scripts, and music sheets for as far back as recorded time. It is the sweet, sensational, butterflies in your stomach emotion of love. It’s one of those things that have infinite value; extending from tales of first sight adorations to High School sweethearts and undying declarations of amour. As vast as the concept may be it is perhaps still one of the most abstract sentiments that has no one true meaning.

Whether we know it or not each and every one of us falls in love with something or another each and every day. Listen carefully and you’ll find yourself in a sentence that begins with, “I love…..” It’s just one of those things that have a thousand and one meanings, forms and depth. Like an inborn instinct people generally are programmed to mingle, and acquire a set of individual elements that give us a sense of belonging and when we are just a speck among an immeasurable population, it gives us assurance that we are special nonetheless, simply because we are capable of loving and being loved.                                               

Human emotions are complex yet exceedingly generous. As such we even extend our affections to simple little things with the utmost devotion. Whether it’s a particular flavor of ice-cream, a special childhood trinket, or a person that makes us smile, we are constantly reminded of the myriad of things that build up on our loyalty and love. Some may be silly and some may be profound but each in its own way mounts to the package that defines who we are.

Compassion and respect for all that bounds us is a partial fragment of all the wonderful things that can be acquired when we listen to the instincts deep within our hearts. In doing so we might just hear a little voice that directs us to applaud rather than envy. Hence along the way shun criticisms and instead opt to embrace appreciation for others, after all what goes around comes round, hence jealously is a lonely plight.

Love and (as reality would have it) the occasional consequent heart ache that may result, is perhaps the most essential lesson we learn a lesson that teaches humanity and the kind of knowledge we take with us to eternity. It perhaps can even be termed as an accomplishment which isn’t defined by material objects or surface fame but rather by the number of hearts we’ve touched.

It is quite possibly the most wonderful emotion that can either be the best thing that ever happed to us or the worst. Taking a chance to gamble with our hearts is a hard shoe to fit; especially since it just happens to be one such sensation that thrives on impulse rather than logic, as such destiny may decide where hearts end up. If we listen within this maze of intertwined feelings intuitively yet cerebrally this funny little thing called love could just be the best thing the world could ever give us. -SF

Hickeys: The Seductive Dilemma by Stepanie Nolasco

There you are, kissing that one person you can't stop thinking about. They hold your hand and they whisper sweet nothings to you. They move their head down to your neck, slowly breathing their essence on you, tasting you with their lips. Whether you feel the slight sensation of a pinch or the urge of wanting more, something horrifying remains. A deep maroon colored oval that plants itself on your skin. A tell tale sign that you were involved in an uprising sexual frenzy —the dreaded hickey. Whether it’s feather-like or a vampire's kiss, the hickey still remains on your body. What will you do now? What will your parents say? Can you honestly hide that hickey from unwanted admirers?
In plain English, a hickey is basically an erotic bite that is actually a bruise. This bruise is created because blood transfers out of your vessels around your neck. They bulge up and become secreted in one area, creating a discoloration on your skin. Though harmless, this bruise can last up to a week. Pigment can range from maroon to burgundy, depending on a person's natural pigmentation and how deep or shall we say passionate strength and time dedication provided to the resulting hickey.
Hickeys create a sexual aura on your body, It's also a possession tag your lover leaves to let the whole world know that you're taken for sure. This may be something you may want to show off to your friends or a marking you want to hide from the world, especially your parents! Even so, hickeys don't disappear overnight, they take great patience to deal with endure on a daily basis. Hickeys have been an act between lovers since Egyptian times as a way to display one’s passionate uniqueness. Now you know what a hickey is, so how would you remove it? Well, first off, don't attempt to rub your skin harder as the bruise will get darker. Don't use bandages because it's rare for someone to get a cut on their neck and be perfectly interacted, it’ll obviously draw more attention.

Instead try these simple methods tried and tested by other individuals you’ve been ‘hickified’
1) Place a frozen spoon on the freezer for about an hour and then place it on your neck until it de-freezes.
2) Place an ice cube on your hickey until it completely melts.
3) Get a comb and a blow dryer, comb the hickey slowly as you blow dry it.
4) When you go out, sparingly use concealer and pressed powder.
5) Long hair? Make good use of it!

The possibilities are endless when it comes to hiding a hickey. However, don't expect miracles. If you actually like the nice reminder of your lover's content, you may want to explore hickeys on upper thighs, breasts, and even you stomachs. Be careful when you give someone a hickey, they may not be too fond of these eyesores. If you get dirty looks, don't be surprised. Some people find hickeys trashy and over elaborated expressions of passion. It’s you to you to decide,  how you want to handle the ‘situation’ and consider it as a reminder to be careful when passion is involved.

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