The Backstreets Boys defined a whole new genre of music in the mid/late nineties, with infectious dance beats and the moves to match, their flava helped carve a new niche in pop music catapulting the music industry's instant urge to capitalize on the trait. Inspiring a lineage of new talents to keep up the pace of easy listening, laid back pop' tunes, palatable by the masses. The group through it all however dealt with a number of 'bumps' along their famous path, one in particular being 'substance abuse' – a battle fought and won by member AJ McLean. On that note read on as AL's mom and author of  Backstreet Mom shares are views on thoughts on making in the vast corporate entertainment industry and the importance of vigilance while on the route to fame...

As a single parent I have tried to play an active role in my son's life from the beginning. For a young boy, having to face life without the benefits a biological father at home was difficult for Alex. Fortunately, for our family, his grandparents and me, the adjustment came easy to him. He soon learned that a caring grandfather and loving uncle could hold the same place in his heart as the father he did not have. Alex and I were buddies from the time he was born and remain close to this very day. His grandmother and grandfather were like a second set of parents.

Alex became interested in musical theatre at the age of 6. Soon after he wanted to take piano lessons, dance lessons and study with a singing coach. He had show business in his blood and it pumped harder and harder everyday. He knew what he wanted in life from the first time he stepped onto the stage. To be an entertainer.

(Quote from Backstreet Mom, Ch. 2) "My mom was also a great help in getting Alex to and from lessons on those occasions when I had to work. We all did our part. My dad helped Alex rehearse his lines at night if I was not there to do it."
Having my mom and dad around make a huge difference in both of our lives. The love and support of family is second to none.

As a teenager Alex did what kids do, he went to school, ate fast food and chased after girls. Only he had to juggle the normal teen stuff while singing and dancing for hours learning how to be a Backstreet Boy. All this and only fourteen years old. But Alex and the other boys were hungry for success and they did whatever it took to get it. I supported my son in all of his efforts.
Sure we have had our ups and downs along the way but they were few and far between. One such incident happened when Alex turned eighteen and he decided to get a tattoo without telling me. I found out while we were on the road in Germany from some of the musicians. Apparently he and one of the other boys in the group (Brian) had gone off together to someone recommended by one of the crew and each gotten one. I was hurt to have heard this second hand and told my son in a very harsh tone how disappointed I was. We did not speak for a week after that conversation but I finally gave in to my son's pleads for peace and we made up. He held little back from me after that point. I was relieved.

As my son and his band mates struggled with rehearsing and recording demos on endless schedules, the behind the scenes workers like myself were busy trying to come up with ideas on how to get the Backstreet Boys out into the public eye. One way was the middle and high school tour we did before the band was every signed to a record label. We hit the road for several weeks at a time and the boys would sing and dance their hearts out to every teen we could find. I will never forget the reactions of those girls as we progressed on the tour and word spread. It seemed like a real magical moment in time when the Backstreet Boys performed in Ohio at the national MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) convention. There was an audience of a few thousand kids and the noise level of screaming was almost unbearable to withstand. You would have thought the Beatles were up on that stage the way these girls cried. I believe to this day that had to be one of the most memorable experiences I have had traveling with the boys.

As I stated already, thru the years my son and I have had our differences, but one of the sweetest things he has ever done for me was to actually give me an all expense paid vacation to a luxurious spa in Phoenix. It was after a very tough year of travel and work for us both and he apparently saw the effect it was taking on my health and nerves, so he felt that would be a fitting Christmas present, and it was indeed.

The "business of show" as we affectionately like to call it has many rewards if you are fortunate enough to reach the top. But there are many pitfalls along the road. I would say that first and foremost is "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SIGN!" Whatever the cost, let a professional entertainment attorney read any contract be it large or small, before you put your pen to it. Second would be 'WHEN IT COMES TO PRESS, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS OFF THE RECORD". Be sure whatever you tell a reporter you don't mind having it known to the world. They are not your buddies. And finally, I think that standing your ground is very important. If you go into this business with your eyes open, keep them that way and don't let the glitter of shining objects obscure your vision. (Quote from Backstreet Mom, Ch. 4) "The music business is like a hole that sucks you in and grows larger with each success. It allows no room for the real world. Is comprised mostly of fantasy and the promise of all things shiny and bright. Not too much reality there!"

In 1999 my mother was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. It was a devastating blow to the entire family and especially to Alex. This once powerful, demonstrative woman he loved so much was now becoming frail and weak due to this illness. He could not deal with it. So he began to drink and party with unsavory characters that I called the "Glommers". These were the people who acted like your friend but only had their own self interest at heart. They latched onto my son like sharks to prey. We started to see less and less of my son at times when he was home from the road. (Quote from Backstreet Mom, Ch. 12 "Alex stopped coming to family functions unless it was absolutely necessary. He obviously was having a very difficult time with his grandmother's illness. He later admitted that when he was out on the road he sat in his room and drank in an effort to forget about his grandmother. That led him into a crushing depression."

Denise and the group with Oprah Winfrey on the Oprah show

After two interventions and two overdoses, Alex checked himself into rehab in July 2001. That was soon after my mom had passed away. The rest of the group decided that they did not want to lie to the fans. They wanted to come clean and admit that Alex had a problem and was getting help. So they decided to use MTV as their voice to the public and went on the air in force to tell the tale. The outpouring of support and love was amazing. I believe it really helped my son through his recovery. I had come to realize that even though the boys may have had their fights along the road to success it was more like sibling rivalry than real arguments. This time along with those prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that when the chips were down and anyone of the group was hurting or in trouble the others would rally to their side and give them whatever they needed. They were brothers in the most loving sense of the word. Currently the group is back in the studio after a much needed hiatus. They are happy to be together creating that distinctive sound we have all grown to love as the Backstreet Boys own.

My son is writing and very excited to be back with his band brothers preparing for their upcoming tour of the world. They have all been through so much and at so young an age. They have met some wonderful people along the way, like other artists. Steven Tyler, Alice Cooper, Sting, Elton John to name just a few who have had a very positive impact on my son and the rest of the boys. On the flip side they have also met their share of not so nice people along the way. Like some who betrayed them with flash of the almighty dollar then taking away. I think the one person who my son would say most betrayed his trust was Lou Pearlman. That man acted like family to his face but was cold stone business behind his back. It took him a long time to get over that one, if he is even over it now.

I think the boys were able to keep going in spite of the odds against them because each one of them had a hunger for success that would not be quenched with second best. They were driven to be number one from the start and they achieved it through hard work, long hours and sticking together despite all of the influences that tried to pull them apart.

My son has grown up in this business and he has learned a lot along the way. He has learned about brotherly love and support of family. He has learned to pick his friends wisely and not be influenced by others who might not have his best interests at heart. He is still on a journey of learning as we all are, so that part will be ever changing. He has learned to take one day at a time.

When it comes to the hype of fame you must be careful not to fall into the black hole of success without looking down with a flashlight. If you don't stand your ground at times and just do what those "professionals" around you say to do, you might find yourself without all of the things you worked so hard to achieve. They will reap the benefits, not you. Be careful of anyone who may have their own agendas. In this business that is everyone who is not your mother. If you look around at some of the current stars of today like Usher, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake you will notice they all have one thing in common, their mother's manage or co-manage them and keep them grounded as best they can. That is an important tool.

Substance abuse is an epidemic in this country and the one thing I really think is sick is how the media portrays stars with addiction problems. Like it is a fad to go into rehab. A glamorous thing. NOT!!! My son would be the first to tell you it is a day to day, minute to minute battle to stay clean and sober. He and many like him, battle those demons every waking hour. He tries to be healthy and happy in his mind and spirit, that seems to help. Remember, if you are happy with yourself you cannot make others happy. As my son says in his introduction in my book, "You cannot learn to live, so just live."

— by Denise McLean

(The author of Backstreet Mom)

Published: June 19^th 2005  

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